A couple of days ago I submitted the final essay for my first module. Looking back over these last few months I have learned a lot. I am happy that I have finished my first module, and will hopefully pass, I have definitely learned that I need to rethink my studying habits and the way I approach it. Being new to studying at this level I didn’t really know what to expect. Mid way through I got a bit bogged down by it all, I hadn’t planned on outside forces making me tired and therefore I ended up leaving everything until the last minute and while still getting most of the assignments completed, I missed one of them, and was happy with the marks I got, thinking back I can’t stop feeling that if I had planned my studying better I might have done better. These first modules are beginning ones which means we do study areas that are general to the subject and so maybe my interest wasn’t at it’s peak, but still if I’m honest I do think I could have done better. So at this point when I could easily pack it all in and say ‘Why even bother?’, which is my usual tactic, I have decided to use this short break before my next module to get back on track and try to see all the positives instead of focusing on the bad. I need to remember that I am doing this for a challenge and not because it’s easy. That I can’t go back and change anything I’ve already done, I can use it as inspiration for how to tackle the next one. My main struggle is motivation and I am a gold medallist at procrastination. I need to try to find a way to ‘force’ myself to keep to a plan. I’m not quite sure how I’m going to manage this but I’m thinking the best way is to keep my goal in mind. I am determined to do this and I need to put the work in, No Pain No Gain.
So here’s to continuing on the path with a new sense of gusto! Taking this time to shake off the old, only taking the lessons it teaches rather than the feelings it leaves. I have decided that in order to stay on my path I need to realise that it is ok to stray once in a while, and that I shouldn’t beat myself up about it. If this whole thing becomes a chore and an excuse to feel like I can’t do something, then that’s exactly what will happen. I will not complete it and feel even worse.
Anytime I get behind or feel that I am beginning to stray from the path of my goals, I am going to visualise a compass as a reminder that just because sometimes you can’t see the path it doesn’t mean it’s gone it just means you wandered a bit and with a bit of effort it will always be found again.
So remember fellow travellers, the only failure in straying off the path is never trying to find it again. 🙂